体验记:富士山下的75天 (2014年)

富士山下的75天

注:在這裡我想特別致謝 Hasumi-chan,在我住在木之花大家族的期間,她在很多方面都給予了我很大的幫助,後來又抽出時間將我寫的這篇文章費心一一翻譯成了日文。非常感 謝:)同時也非常感謝木之花家族的 Tomo-chan 和 Michiyo-chan 對文章細節的修正和建議,這裡是Tomo-chan 修改并整理的日文版:http://blog.konohana-family.org/? p=11998

Note: Here I would like to say special thanks to Hasumi-chan, she helped me a lot during my stay in Konohana Family, and later she spent a lot of time to translate this article into Japanese. Thanks very much : ) Also thanks very much to Tomo-chan and  Michiyo-chan in Konohana Family for the detailed corrections and suggestions, here is the article in Japanese edited by Tomo-chan : http://blog.konohana-family.org/? p=11998

在去日本之前,我有幸得到了學生家長和成都幾位藝術學校校長的準假和簽證支持,以及木之花家族成員們的各種協助,才能夠以這種 方式在木之花家族與大家共同生活了這麼長的一段時間。出發前,我在候機的時候畫了這幅畫,當時心裡面也並不是很清楚會在接下來的這些日子裡體驗和學習到什 麼,但是,有一點很明白。那就是上天給我安排了這麼一個機會,就要好好的珍惜,對得住這背後的一切。 —“願不辜負,莫忘初心”。

Before I came to Japan, I luckily got the vacation permission from the headmasters of Art schools in Chengdu and my students’ parents, as well as many supports from Konohana Family including visa invitation. With all these help I could spend such a long time living together with everyone in Konohana Family, thanks to you all.

Before leaving when I was waiting for the airplane I did the drawing above, actually at that time I had no specific idea about what I will experience and learn in the following 3 months. But one thing is clear, it is that as the god gave me such a chance, I should appreciate and try to do the best, for all the flows behind. —“Remembering the initiation and willing to live up to it. ”

富士山下的75天

在富士山下面勞作 / Working under Mt. Fuji.

在這段時間中,我經歷了很多事情,也有不少內心的體驗和變化。我想把這個過程分享出來,希望能帶給人們一些啟發或者感悟。在寫的時候,我盡量回憶和描述當時的感受和過程,讓一些東西慢慢的展現。我想,對於同樣的一個故事,每個人也許都會看到與別人不一樣的東西。

In these days I experienced a lot, especially some changes in the heart. I would like to share this experience, wishing to bring people some inspirations or touch. When writing down the story, I try to recall and describe the feelings and details at those specific moments, letting things unfold gradually by themselves. Maybe for the same story, each one will see and get something differently.

今年初的時候,我在網絡上認識了一位朋友,通過他我知道了在富士山腳下的木之花家族。最初,我了解到這是一個秉持與自然和諧共 生理念,可持續發展的有機生態社區,近百人一起生活勞作,共同分享收入和各種資源。他們實踐自然的農耕方式以自給自足,同時也通過自然療愈法幫助身心有疾 病的人恢復健康。

非常感謝下面這篇文章的作者,她的詳細介紹讓我對木之花有了一個最初的印象。http://www.newsmarket.com.tw/blog/21444/

At the beginning of this year, I met a friend on internet, he told me about Konohana Family under the foot of Fuji Mountain. At first I knew that this is a sustainable Eco community living in the pursuit of being in harmony with nature, approximately hundreds of people living and working together, sharing the income and various kinds of other resources. They practice natural farming to sustain themselves, in the meanwhile help people to heal from mental and body disorder.

Thanks to the author of this article below, her detailed descriptions gave me a primary image of Konohana Family. http://www.newsmarket.com.tw/blog/21444/

後來在木之花家族的主頁上,我留意到了“菩薩の裡” 這個詞,感覺到這是在那裡的人們的內心精神世界的表達,我在很多方面對木之花的理念都有著認同。由之前那位朋友提議,我決定到那裡去生活一段時間,去實際 的感受日常生活中的種種。很感謝木之花家族的成員們願意破例接納不會說日語的我們,並在簽證過程中給予了很大的幫助。終於在今年5月19號的下午,我從東 京坐巴士來到了木之花,從那天開始我將在這里呆上一到三個月。

Later when browsing Konohana Family’s homepage, I noticed  the world “ Bodhisattva village”, seems to me this shows the motto of the spirit of the people living there, I feel a sense of identity. As the friend mentioned before suggested, I decided to go and live there for a period, to experience the everyday life there. Thanks to the Konohana Family members that they would like to accept us as helper although we could not speak Japanese, and helped a lot in the process of visa applying. Finally at the afternoon of May 19th, I arrived in Konohana by bus from Tokyo, from that day on, I will stay here for one to three months.

重新連接/ Reconnection

在到達的當天我就開始了作為 Helper 的工作,去了 Warehouse 幫助 Kyōko-chan 種植花生和移植西紅柿的幼苗。雖然我一直很喜歡親近自然,也參加過一些戶外的登山。但作為一個在城市長大的人,這還是我第一次實際的接觸到種子,幼苗,泥 土。一開始我有一種不大真實的感覺,我還無法想像手裡的這顆花生從土里長出綠葉來的樣子,感覺那是好遙遠的事情。我很小心翼翼,生怕哪裡沒有做對種子就不 長出來了。

後來的一段時間裡我心裡也一直在嘀咕,當時就那樣把種子放進土裡,其他的什麼都沒做,它真的會自己長出來嗎?直到某天,我在田 地裡移植花生幼苗的時候,被告知這是前段時間我種下的種子長出來的,它們現在已經長到10公分左右高了,綠油油的。在那個時刻,我心裡面頓時感到了一種欣 喜和踏實,有一種跟大地和太陽連接上了的感覺。

I started working as a helper the day I arrived. I went to the warehouse to help Kyōko-chan with peanuts planting and tomato transplanting. Although I’ve been always like nature and sometimes went for mountain climbing, but as grew up in the city, this is the first time for me to work with real seeds, baby plants and soil. I felt a sense of unreal, as I could not image the peanut in my palm sprouting out from the soil. Seems to me it is something far far away. I carefully did the work, afraid that if I made mistakes in some steps, the seed would not come out.

And for quite a long time in the following days, I always had it on my minds that I just put the seeds into the soil and covered them, did nothing more for them, will they really come out? Until one day, when I was transplanting the baby peanuts in the field, I was told these are exactly the peanuts I seeded before, now they were approximately 10 cm high, shiny green. At that moment I suddenly felt assured and delighted, with a sense of being connected with the earth and the sun.

富士山下的75天

剛到達時的工作筆記 / Working notes in the first few days when I just arrived

還有一次,我們要到田裡去收穫洋蔥,我出門的時候忘記帶靴子了。當時想了想,就穿著襪子乾活吧。那天還不是很熱,泥土有些濕 潤,軟軟的,也有點粘,踩在上面感覺特別的舒服。仔細想想在平常的生活中,像這樣直接的踩在大地上的時候真是屈指可數。踩來踩去的都是厚厚軟軟的感覺,除 了很小的時候打過赤腳,已經好多年沒有這樣直接的感觸到土地的厚實了。後來天氣漸漸熱起來的時候,我發現大家越來越多的開始赤腳了,挖土豆的時候,很多人 都脫了鞋子直接在土地上踩來踩去,很歡快。大家都說,從大地那裡,能感覺到力量:)

Another time, we went to the field to harvest garlic, I forgot to take the boots with me. I thought for a while and decided to work with my socks on. It was not very hot that day, the soil was a bit moist, soft and also a little sticky, very comfortable to touch by feet. Actually in ordinary life I have very few chances to touch the earth and feel its depth in this way, except for a few times when I was a little child, running around barefoot. And later on, as it became more and more hot, I found that more and more people went barefoot when working, walking around happily. People say they can receive energy from the earth in this way :)

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穿著襪子收穫洋蔥 / Garlic harvest with socks on

Kō-chan 在旱田隊工作,他有二十年左右的農業經驗。他告訴我說他們會知道什麼時候該收穫某種農作物。他們會時常關注植物們的生長情況,這裡面有很豐富的潛在信 息,有經驗的農人可以很敏銳的感覺到這些信息並相應的做一些事情來幫助它們生長得更好。他也告訴我跟植物們一起工作的時候,用什麼樣的技術不是最重要,最 重要的,是“一起生長得更好”的信念。農作物們對於 Kō-chan 來說,就好像是他的孩子一樣,他說每天他都會想到它們,看看它們,為它們做點什麼。他在木之花家族裡是有名的熱愛工作的人,大家就給他起了個綽號,叫“抹 布”,意思是累得像塊布攤在桌子上一樣了。 ^ ^。

Kō-chan who works in the field team has about 20 years practical experience in agriculture. He told me they knew when it was time to harvest a certain kind of crops. They pay close attention to the growing conditions of the crops, there are a lot of subtle informations, experienced farmers could sense them and do something correspondingly to help the crops grow better.

He also told me when working with plants, the most important thing is not about the technique, it is “the belief to grow up better and better together” that matters most. To Kō-chan, the crops are his babies, he would think of them every day, look at them, do something for them. He is famous as a workaholic with plants in Konohana Family and people gave him a nickname: “dishcloth”, which means being tired as a dishcloth lying on the table. 。^ ^。

我在想,Kō-chan 是怎麼能感知到這些潛在信息的呢?他和農作物們之間的緊密聯繫是怎樣建立起來的呢?我想起從小到大一直聽到的諺語:天地人。天地之間,站立著人。人紮 根於大地,申達於天宇,順應天地,陰陽之間的能量交流,是這個世界本來的運作方式。然而在到木之花之前,大地對於我來說,是畫作中的那條地平線,是顏料中 的赭石和熟褐,是某某酒類廣告中的那一段台詞。 。當然我從小就知道的,土地裡面會長出來植物和蔬果糧食,但那是一個從課本里面,通過他人的話語或者文字,經過我的大腦吸收的“概念”。我的“腦袋”知道 這個概念,可是我的心,手和腳,我的身體,它們並不知道具體這是怎麼一回事。它們“知道”的方式不是通過話語或者文字圖像,而是通過實際的觀察和触摸,一 次次的,在許多時間的共同度過和陪伴中累積起來的感知。

I started to think, how could Kō-chan be able to sense these subtle informations? How does he establish the links with the crops? I remember a saying I‘ve been told from childhood: heaven, earth and man. Man stands in harmony between the heaven and earth, rooting in the earth while reaching to the heaven, following the energy flow between yang and yin, this is the way in which our world works out.

But before I came to Konohana, to me the earth is the horizontal line in a drawing, the color of ochre and cooked brown, or the lines in the advertisement of some alcohol.. Of course I knew that the plants and crops grow out from the earth, but that is only a “concept” I absorbed by my thinking, from the textbook, the words or texts of other people. My brain knew this idea, while my heart, hands and body don’t knew how it  actually works out in details. The way they know is not that through the words or texts, images, it is through the actual observation and touch, over and over again, spending a lot of time together with plants that they gain the feeling of it.

富士山下的75天

除草的工作筆記 / Working notes about weeding

我突然意識到自己這麼多年的人生,有一個很重要的環節一直是斷開的。我不知道我吃的食物是怎麼樣一點點生長出來的,不知道大自 然造物的偉大力量是怎麼樣具體顯現的,在這個過程中我完全沒有參與。現在人們到超市或者農貿市場購買蔬菜水果,直接得到的是一個結果。在這個過程裡面,人 們沒有機會去感知土地和陽光雨露在每一天的變化,農作物們因為這些變化而呈現出來的不同模樣,以及它們在環境中為了努力生長需要克服的各種艱辛。

在直接購買的這個過程中,只有食物和金錢的關係,人們的心靈跟天地和農作物沒有直接的聯繫,食物好像很容易得到,因而也很難從 心裡面知道珍惜。在木之花,每次吃飯前後人們都要感恩和祈禱,非常虔誠。我曾經到地裡給芝麻拔草,那是長長的一條條芝麻地,芝麻還小,有不少雜草跟它們長 在一起,有的還長得很像,需要仔細的辨認。我從左邊換到右邊,又從右邊換到左邊,不久腰就酸痛了。然後我各種姿勢換來換去,盡量不那麼累,心裡想著,真是 不容易啊。那天中午吃飯的時候,我看著碗裡的食物,想到這背後要經過的種種過程和艱辛,真正感到了珍惜。

I suddenly realized that a very important chain had been broken off for so many years in my life so far. I didn’t know how the food I eat had been grown out, or how the nature’s power of creation unfolded gradually through this process, I had totally not participated in. Nowadays people buy vegetables and fruits from supermarkets or farmers markets, directly get the results of nature’s production. In this way they have no chance to feel the differences of the soil, sunshine, rain from each day, and the correspondingly different appearances of the crops, as well as the various difficulties they had to struggle to overcome in their living environment.

There is only the relationship of food and money in the buying system, the heart is not connected with the crops, the earth and the sun. It seems that the food is easy to get and people hardly appreciate them by heart. In Konohana Family, people sincerely pray and thank to god each time before eating. Once I did weeding for sesame in the field, those are very long rows of baby sesame with many weeds together. Some are very similar in appearance with sesame and need to be carefully identified. While working with my back bent, I moved from left to right, then right to left, soon my waist got ache.Then I switched between various kinds of gestures, trying to make it more comfortable when bending, thinking that it is really not an easy task. That day at lunch I looked at the rice and vegetables in my bowl, thinking of the efforts behind, I really sensed the feeling of appreciation and thankfulness.

就像植物如果不紮根於大地就會枯萎一樣,大多都市裡面人們的心靈也沒有紮根於自然,出現了不同程度的失衡。人們很容易沉迷於美 好的文字和意向所帶來的氛圍和感受,陶醉在其中而疏於實際去做一些事情。跟植物的生長一樣,這些美好的事物是“生長”出來的,這背後,往往需要付出很多的 努力和艱辛。都市裡的人們每天被看似豐富多彩的各種信息所圍繞,不斷刺激著因工作而疲憊的感官和心靈,短暫的滿足之後繼而升起更多的慾望。這一切都讓人們 離大自然的豐饒和健康越來越遠了。

If the plants don’t root into the earth they will dry out, likewise people living in the cities who don’t have their heart rooted into the nature have shown various degrees of unbalance. People tend to indulge in the nice atmosphere created by beautiful words and images, while neglecting to do something practically. like the plants taking many efforts to grow out beautifully, those beautiful things are also created by “growing”, there are always many efforts behind this process.

It seems that people in the cities are surrounded by all kinds of information rich and colorful, continuously simulating their senses and minds which are tired from the daily works. People get satisfied in a short while but more desires come along after that. In this way people live more and more far away from the rich and healthy nourishments of nature.

還有一次,我被派去給茄子的幼苗“拔芽”,那時候那些小苗只有三四十公分高,枝幹也很細嫩。後來僅僅過了一到兩週左右,我又一 次路過茄子地的時候,吃驚的發現它們已經長到了半人高,枝幹也粗壯了很多。我從來不知道植物可以生長得這麼快,我被自然的力量深深的震撼了,一有機會就告 訴別人我有多吃驚。在驚訝的同時,心裡也感到欣喜,好像這自然的力量也感染了我,給我注入了一股質樸而有力的信念。那就是最單純直接的生命力,與天地連接 的踏實感。看著它們越長越大,在這樣的陪伴過程中,我切切實實的體會到了這種真實而向上的力量。它們是那麼認真而努力的生長,就像向日葵朝向太陽那樣單 純,不去想別的,也從不言棄。

I remembered once I was given the task of “picking the main sprout” for eggplants, at that time those babies were only three or four centimetres high, weak and thin. Just one or two weeks later, when I saw them again in the field, I was surprised to see that they had grown to reach the height of the human waist, with much stronger stems and branches. I had never seen in real that the plants could grow up so fast. So shocking by the power of nature that I always wanted to tell others about it when I had a conversation with them.

Meanwhile I also had a delighted feeling, seems that this natural energy also shined on me with a simple and strong belief. That is the most pure and honest life energy, connected with the sun and the earth. Seeing the plants grow up day by day, I really feel the honest power of heading up. They make so earnest efforts to grow up, as pure as the sunflower  growing towards the sunshine, thinking of nothing else, and never giving up.

我覺得跟植物們在一起工作的時候,很多時候是在向它們學習,學習“樸實”:樸=質樸,實=真實。與植物相比,人類聰明多了,會 思考,能發明構想出很多東西,也因此人們往往太相信自己的思考力,認為通過它可以解決很多的問題。然而實際的情況呢,是現在地球上各種污染,環境和氣候的 異變,各國之間為了資源而爭奪。人們設計製造出來的各種事物,大多與自然的造物相比,也較簡單粗略了些。

I always feel like I’m learning from the plants when working with them, learn to be “simple and true” : simple with modesty and true with honesty. Compared with the plants, human beings are far more clever, be able to think, and create many things, therefore people usually rely too much on their thinking abilities. They think they can solve many problems by thinking. However, what’s going on in this world are that, many pollution problems, environmental and weather mutations, governments fighting for resources. The creatures designed by human beings are also somewhat not as delicate as natural ones.

那麼,為什麼這麼聰明的人類和人類社會,沒有長得像自然界中的事物那樣美好和諧?Katoken 說和植物們一起工作,他覺得它們都很可愛。有一次在吃飯時他指著一包玉米的紋路對我說,這是很美的線條,我把玉米轉了個方向,看到它的橫切面也挺漂亮。我 想起了曾經教小孩子們畫玉米,在觀察時發現玉米的顆粒排列是一顆顆稍微錯開來的,每一粒都因為在這一包玉米上不同的位置而有了稍稍不同的大小和形狀。試想 如果是由一個現代社會裡的“人”來長出一包玉米的話,他也許會先做出一粒,然後拷貝複制排列出一整包,每一粒都是一樣的。如果問他為什麼這樣做,他的回答 可能會是:這樣快,節省時間,可以做更多的玉米出來。而如果問玉米君,為什麼要那樣一粒一粒不同的長呢? ——玉米君它不會說話的,只會繼續默默的堅持按照那樣的方式生長,然後長得很美。

So why the clever human beings and society didn’t grow out in a harmony and beautiful way as natural world? Katoken said working with plants he felt they are all very cute. Once at dinner he touched a corn and said to me: “Beautiful lines.” I rotate it to another direction, seeing that its cross section is also very beautiful. I remembered once I taught the kids to draw corns, by observing I noticed that each corn kernel is slightly staggered, with a little differences in size and shape according to the different positions.

If a modern man asked to “grow out“ a corn, most likely he will first make out one kernel, then copy and paste to get a line of kernels, then copy and rotate this line to get a corn, in this way every kernel looks the same. If asked why do it like this, he may answer that because this is fast and time saving, so that more corn could be made. However if the corn is asked, why grow out one by one? —— He may not say anything, just keep doing this way and get beautiful result.

富士山下的75天

勞作時遇到的很漂亮的花和果子 / Beautiful flowers and fruits picked up when working

在收穫黃瓜的時候,我發現其實仔細看,它們身上有一層白白的東西,很細小。有次在包裝的時候,Mayu-chan 告訴我要小心別碰到它身上的小刺,這樣的話可以保鮮更久。還有次 Kazuko-chan 和 Kuwatchi 帶我看冬瓜,她們說冬瓜小的時候是嫩綠色的,長大以後表面上會有一層小白絨毛。我突然明白了在漢語中它為什麼叫冬瓜了,那層白白的小絨毛就像下雪了一樣, 是冬天的感覺。有的時候很為植物們感動,在人們不大會注意到的細細小小的地方,它們都盡心盡力的認真生長。它們不長給誰看,它們就只是單純的生長。

When harvesting the cucumber, I found that by observing carefully, you will see that they have a slight layer of white stuff. Once when I was packing them, Mayu-chan told me carefully not to touch the tiny needles around their bodies in order to keep them fresh for a longer period.

Another time Kazuko-chan and  Kuwatchi take me to look at the white gourd, they said when the white guard are small, they are in peak green, when they grow up they will have a tiny layer of white furs on the surface. Suddenly I understand now why it is called “winter gourd” in Chinese, that tiny white layer is just like a layer of snow, bringing the feeling of winter. Sometimes I usually get touched by the plants, they spare no effort to grow out, in every tiny details where even not noticed by humans. They don’t grow to show, they just purely grow.

Kyōko-chan 曾對我說,“人有自我,但植物沒有,它們樸實,忠於自己的天性。” 植物不會思考、分析和計算,它們順從著自然中天與地之間的能量流動,每一個細胞的生長都感知著周圍環境的細微變化,從而做出相適應的調整和選擇。沒有人類 的聰明和貪執,只有純樸的生長信念,以及每時每刻都不含糊的覺知和認真對待,大巧若拙。也正是只有這樣,才能順應天地之道,呈現出天地的優美與和諧吧。

Kyōko-chan once said to me, “Humans have ego, while plants don’t. They are simple and true, honest to their nature.” The plants are not able to think, analyse, calculate, they follow the energy flow between the sun and the earth, sense the slight changes in the environment, making the growing choice according to these tiny changes, as detailed as in every cell. Without the cleverness and greed of human beings, only with the pure and simple belief in growth, full awareness and seriously correspondence in every moment, the greatest art appears slow-witted ( from Taoism). In this way it follows the Tao of nature, unfolding the beauty and harmony of nature.

無私無界/  No boundary, no ego

在木之花,午飯和晚飯都是大家在 Himawali 的大客廳裡一起吃的。在這個大客廳裡面,也一起開音樂會,生日會,大人和小孩們的討論會,以及邀請鄰居們一起來吃飯,這裡是人們一起共同度過很多時間的地 方。剛到的時候,大家常常在大廳照面的時候問我:Are you ok? 一開始我挺手足無措的,不知道該回答些什麼,就只會點點頭,說還好還好。我從小到大在不熟悉的人面前都比較靦腆,和父母之間的交流也不多。從小我的感覺就 是需要靠自己,也因此大部分時候我一個人做事情,解決問題,不大主動跟人交流談話,更別說提要求,感覺那樣會很為難。

In Konohana Family, all people have lunch and dinner together with kids at a big living room in Himawali. In this room people also have concert, birthday party, kids’ meeting and adults’ meeting, as well as restaurant day when neighbours are invited to have lunch with a specific theme. This is a place where people share most of their time together. In the first few days after I had just arrived, people often ask me “Are you OK?” when they saw me in the living room. At first I have no idea how to reply, I just nod with “OK, OK :) ”. I had always been shy in front of unfamiliar people, and had not much communication with my parents either. Since very young I had felt that I could only rely on myself, and most of the time I do things by myself to solve problems. I seldom start conversations with others, not to mention to ask for help, I feel awkward that way.

這樣的我在到木之花的第一天就出了狀況。工作完以後我到 Magodo house 洗澡,那是一個上下兩層的住宅,有一個家庭式的浴室。我在成都習慣了一個人洗澡,所以那天進了浴室我就習慣性的關上了門。不久之後,我就听到了門外有敲門 聲,幹完活回來的人們也需要進來洗澡,她們不明白我為什麼把門關上了。我當時也很吃驚,要一起洗嗎。 。 。 >——<。 。 。

Being like this I caused some trouble the first day I arrived at Konohana. After work I went to have shower at Magodo house, which is a two floor house with a family bathroom. I have been used to have shower alone at home in Chengdu, so I locked the door behind me after I entered into the bathroom. Soon I heard someone knocking the door, other people who came back from work need to come in to have bath, they didn’t understand why I locked the door. I was also shocked, are we going to have bath together? ……>——<……

還好大家都理解了我之前的生活習慣,我也漸漸的開始在適應新的習慣。後來洗完澡出來,我又遇到一個問題,就是要回 Himawali 吃飯,怎麼回去呢?我看到 Mika-chan 在電腦面前工作,那天我剛到,不知道她也要去 Himawali 吃飯。這時候不想麻煩人的想法又冒了出來,我想要不就走回去吧,一路上好像還記得怎麼過來的,於是我就這麼走出去了。在路上的時候遇到了 Mayu-chan, 她看到我後立即把我撿回了車上,然後放到另外一個成員的車上送回了 Himawali。那天吃完飯,Mika-chan 和 Mayu-chan 找我聊天了,我才知道原來 Mika-chan 在等我洗好澡後一起回 Himawali,我就那樣不見了,她很擔心。

Fortunately they understood and respected my habit, in the meantime I started to get used to the new habit. After the shower I encountered another problem, how to go back to Himawaili for dinner? I saw Mika-chan working in front of the computer, as I just arrived for the first day, I didn’t know that she would also go to Himawaili to have dinner. I fell again into the habit that not to bother others, thinking that I might walk back home as I seemed to have remembered the way, I walked out.

On the way I met Mayu-chan, she picked me up into her car, then put in another member’s car to Himawali. That day after dinner, Mika-chan and Mayu-chan had a talk with me, it was not until then that I knew Mika-chan had been waiting for me to go back to Himawali together. She was very worried as I disappeared that way.

我當時覺得很慚愧,自己習慣了一個人做事情,沒有考慮到 Mika-chan 會擔心我。我解釋了我的成長環境和行為習慣,一連說了幾個“對不起”。她和 Mayu-chan 聽明白了以後也因為這樣的交流而感到釋然。從那時起我開始意識到了自己之前另外一個一直斷開的連接,那就是跟人的連接。

以前,我看似有不少的朋友,跟周圍的關係也一直不錯,有時候朋友們喜歡來找我傾訴,我也樂意傾聽疏導。但是我自己很少跟別人傾 訴,總是自己面對很多問題,有了問題也不大會想到去依賴他人。而這件事情讓我感受到了關心和在意,感到溫暖的同時,內心的那層保護殼也開始鬆動了。從那以 後我慢慢的有了些變化,最初的改變就是從我的室友 Hasumi-chan 開始的。

I felt rather sorry at that moment, being used to do things by my own, I didn’t consider that Mika-chan could be worried about me. I explained my grown up environment and behavior pattern, said “Sorry.” several times. After this conversation she and Mayu-chan understood me and got relieved. From that time on I realized that there is another important chain being disconnected, that is the connection with people.

Before, I seems to have quite a few friends, and getting along well with others. Sometimes friends came to talk to me, I was always glad to listen and talk over. But I seldom talk to others when I have problems, not tend to rely on others. The conversation that day after dinner made me feel to be concerned and cared, the shell started to crack because of the warmth. Something started to change in my heart, the first steps that came to me was with my roommate Hasumi-chan.

富士山下的75天

溫暖的樹,放在了小椅子上 / The warm tree placed on the little chair

Hasumi-chan 剛搬來時,她說很喜歡我畫的那棵樹,感覺很溫暖,想天天看到它,於是我們就把它擺在了床位之間的小凳子上。我覺得有這樣感受的她內心也是溫暖的。忘記 了從什麼時候開始,我們差不多每天晚上睡覺前都會聊一會兒,聊的大部分都是跟大家有關的八卦小事,比如 Mako 狗狗的眼睛長得很像它的主人 YajiO san 等等。她跟一些成員們聊天時候聽到的有趣的事情也會告訴我。Hasumi-chan 很有幽默感,我們時常被自己逗得哈哈大笑,當然偶爾的,我們也會探討一下宇宙的真理=。 =。 。 。

When Hasumi-chan just moved in, she said she liked the tree I had drawn before very much, it brought out a warm feeling. She would like to see it every day, so we put the picture on the little chair between our beds. I felt that she also had a warm heart. I can’t remember from what time on, we would always have a small talk before going to bed.

The topics are usually small things about everyone living here, for example, the dog Mako-chan’s eyes looked very much like her master  YajiO san’ s. Hasumi-chan liked to tell me something interesting she heard when talking with others, she had a very good sense of humor and we were always made laugh heartily by ourselves. And of course, occasionally, we also discussed something about the truth of this world.  =。=。。。

漸漸的我發現自己主動說話的時候越來越多,有時候開完會回到寢室的時候已經很晚了,Hasumi-chan 已經趴在床上一動不動的了。聽到我的說話聲她會嘀咕一句“Hi 超人,你回來了啊。”然後即使已經很困了還是會跟我聊一小會兒,遇到不認識的中文單詞還會很認真的拿出她的辭典朋友來幫忙翻譯。

Gradually I found myself became more and more talkative. Sometimes I went back to the bedroom very late after meeting, when Hasumi-chan was already laying in bed asleep. Hearing my voice she would always whisper, “ Hi super woman, welcome home.” Then talked with me for a while although she was very sleepy. If there were some unknown Chinese words she would bring out her dictionary ( which she called her good friend ) to help with the translation very carefully.

有段時間裡因為一些事情,我的內心經受著很大的壓力,Hasumi-chan 感覺到了,她擔心我的感受,偷偷的寫了小紙條給 Michiyo-chan。Michiyo-chan 告訴我,誠實,信賴,公開和交流是非常重要的,大家要互相扶持,不要什麼事情都想著自己解決,有問題讓大家一起來分擔。在不久之後的一次大人會議上,我在 很多人的面前袒露了自己的心聲。在這之前我很久沒有這樣做過了,也許是因為這裡的氛圍讓我感覺到了接納和溫暖吧,我覺得把自己敞開來是放心的。

在木之花,坦誠公開非常重要,每個人都盡量把自己的心思透明給大家,直接說不要拐彎抹角。這在現今大多數社會環境裡面是很難想 像的,人們常常是報喜不報憂,帶著面具在生活。而在這裡,大家之所以能敞開自己,也許是因為這種接納,信任,互相扶持的氛圍吧。成員們時常說,每個人都有 陽光的一面和消極的一面,接納不完美的自己和他人,一起去努力克服問題,變得越來越好才是最重要的。

For some reason I was under a lot of pressure in a period of time, Hasumi-chan felt my condition and she was worried about my feeling, she wrote a note to Michiyo-chan. Michiyo-chan saw that and talked with me, she told me that honest, trust, opening yourself for communication are very important, people need to rely on each other, try not to solve all things by yourself, all the people could try to help with the problem. After that talk I shared my feelings at the night meeting in front of many people. I had not done that for quite a long time, maybe it was the atmosphere that made me felt accepted and warm, it was safe to open myself.

In Konohana Family, open and honest are very important, everyone try to share one’s thoughts and feelings directly and transparently. This is unimaginable in most of the societies nowadays, people usually tend to hide the negative informations when communicating, wearing a mask. But in Konohana Family people open themselves, maybe it is because that the acceptance, trust, and supports here create this atmosphere. The members often say, everyone has positive and negative sides, accepting the imperfections of oneself and others, solving the problems together and trying to become better and better, that is the most important thing.

富士山下的75天

Konohanaan 裡的前廳,每天早上太陽照了進來 / Vestibule in Konohanaan with sunshine every morning

經過了這些事情以後,我才慢慢的真正“來到了”木之花大家族,體會到在這里人和人之間的連繫是有多緊密。從早上到晚上,我幾乎 都是跟大家一起度過的。起床後很快的洗漱完,吃一點米飯,然後開始一天的工作。工作時有兩次茶歇,分別是早上的10點和下午的4點左右,大家都挺喜歡在那 個時候一起喝茶聊天,下午的那次還有很好吃的甜點,大多是 Nori-chan 和 Nichiwa 做的。聊天時我基本上聽不懂,但是我挺喜歡去感覺大家的氛圍,有時候 Mayu-chan, kyōko-chan, Kō-chan, Kuwatchi 等看到我感興趣的表情,就會跟我翻譯大家在說什麼。還有 Aki-chan 她不說英文,但是她使勁用比劃和日語裡的漢字告訴我,要多交流,傾訴自己的心思。每次我看到她對著收穫的玉米說“想吃~”的時候,都感覺到那是好真實的表 達。

後來我大多數時間跟 Kazuko-chan 或者 Kuwatchi 一起收穫西瓜,番茄,空心菜,那時候我能說一些簡單的日語單詞了,我們在茶歇的時候用英語加日語加比劃聊了很多話題。記得有次,Kuwatchi 和我聊起了之前各自的感情經歷,在那段關係中學習到成長,也聊到我們都對秘魯馬丘比丘的文明古蹟感興趣。她去了那裡,感覺到好像有曾經在那里呆過的歸屬 感。那天聊完後我們自然的擁抱了對方,因為感覺到真正貼近了彼此的內心。

It was not until being through all these things that I had truly “came to” Konohana Family, getting to know how tight people here were connected together. From morning to evening, I spent most of my time together with everyone here. After getting up I quickly washed, had a bit of rice, then started a day’s work. During the day there are two tea breaks, around 10 am and 4 pm, people like talking together while drinking tea, and there will be delicious sweets at the afternoon tea break, which are usually made by  Nori-chan and Nichiwa.

Actually I didn’t understand what people were talking about, but I would like to feel the atmosphere with everyone, sometimes  Mayu-chan, kyōko-chan, Kō-chan, Kuwatchi would translate the conversations for me as they saw me interested. And Aki-chan who didn’t speak English, she always tried to communicate with me by gestures and Kanji, she encouraged me to try to express my feelings. Every time when I saw her looking at a corn which was just harvested, saying “ Want to eat~”, I always sense the honest feeling of her from her expression and tones.

Later, most of the time I worked with Kazuko-chan and kuwatchi, we harvest watermelons, tomatoes and water spinach. At that time I had gotten to know a bit of Japanese words, we talked on many things by using English, Japanese and gestures mixed together at the tea break. Once, kuwatchi and me had a conversation about our emotional experiences before, how and what we had learnt from that experience. Also we talked about the Machu Picchu ruins in Peru, which we both are very interested in, she went there, feeling that she had been there before in her past lives. That day we hugged after the conversation, as we had truly felt the heart of each other.

富士山下的75天

在茶歇的時候一起交談 / Talking at the tea break

下午幹活到了6點左右我就收工去 Magodo 洗澡,在洗澡的時候,Yūko-chan 常常找我說話。她會問我今天干了些什麼,然後說說自己的事,比如她感覺在醫院幹活比在木之花幹活累,今晚要吃麵包她很期待,等等。她也很喜歡樂器,給我看 她自己做的一個陶土吹奏器,我很感興趣,她就幫我在網上找到了相關資料打印給我。還記得有一次在回 Himawali 吃飯的路上,她說我唱歌給你聽吧,是她老家的歌。然後開始輕輕的唱了起來,我安靜的聽著,晚風從車窗吹過,窗外的一排排稻田也靜靜的掠過,那時候真是非常 的安寧。還有 Katchan 我時常坐她的車回 Himawali,她就常跟我說一些簡單的日語單詞,很有耐心的一遍遍指給我看,這是“近路”,這是“下雨了”, “正在下雨”。 。 。

After 6 pm I finished the work for the day and went back to Magodo for shower. In the bathroom Yūko-chan usually talked to me, she would ask what I had done today, and she also would like to share something about her work. For example, she told me that it was more tiring to work in the hospital than in Konohana, and she was looking forward to the bread which would be served at dinner. She likes music instruments very much, and showed me an ocarina which was made by her own. I was very interested, she searched on the internet and printed out the information about this kind of instrument for me.

I remember one day on the way back to  Himawali for dinner, she said she would like to sing a song for me, which was from her home town. She started singing gently, I listened quietly. That was such a quiet and peaceful moment in the evening, with the wind blowing through the windows of the car, and the rice fields sliding through in rows.

Katchan often drove me back to Himawali, on the way she sometimes taught me some simple Japanese words, showed me over and over again very patiently, this was “shortcut”, that was “rained”, “raining”……

在 Himawali 吃飯的時候,大家也喜歡邊吃邊聊,一般孩子們會先吃完,然後他們就聚在一起,跟大家講今天發生的事情。大人們這時候就坐在下面,回應孩子們的話,有時候給 予意見和指導。我不大懂日語,Michiyo-chan 就常常在一旁幫我翻譯。孩子們會把自己畫的畫,拼的積木拿出來給大家傳閱著看,偶爾也會很直接的表達自己的情緒,逗得大家開懷大笑。木之花的孩子們是大家 共同養育的,如果你看到一個男人在幫一個小孩子刷牙,或者一個女人在給一個孩子餵飯,那可不一定是他的生父母。成員們認為父母並不“擁有”一個孩子,孩子 是社區共同的小孩,大家都會為之付出關愛。

People in Konohana like talking while having meals together at Himawali, usually the kids will finish eating a bit earlier than the adults at dinner, then they will gather together at the front part of the dining hall, sharing what’s going on of them today. At this time the adults are often listening while continuing eating, sometimes they give comments and instructions to the kids. As I didn’t understand Japanese, Michiyo-chan often came to translate their talkings for me.

The kids like to show their drawings, building blocks to everyone, passing one by one, they also express their feelings so straightly that the adults are often made laugh heartly. Kids in Konohana Family are raised up by all the members together, if you see a man brushing a kid’s teeth, or a woman feeding a baby, that doesn’t mean they are their biological parents. The members think the biological parents do not “possess” a kid, kids belongs to the whole community, everyone would like to take care of them with love.

富士山下的75天

左:在“餐廳日”扮演日本古代的飯館服務員 / Cosplay the ancient servant in “Restaurant Day”

右:木之花的孩子畫的我 / Me drawn by the kid of Konohana Family

晚飯之後休息一會兒,大概9點左右開始,大人們又聚到一起,分揀豆子,花生,種子,討論每天的工作安排,社區的各種事務,以及 最重要的,內心的交流。在這個時候很多平時工作生活中遇到的各種問題都會被提出來共同討論,有世界上的環境和能源問題,農業中種子的挑選問題,木之花的朋 友們寫信來諮詢一些事情,也有今天干活時出現的分歧,等等,事無大小之分,也沒有隱私。很小的事情,都會反映出這背後重要的原因和關係,因而不能忽略。即 使是兩個人戀愛的事,也要讓大家一起知道,因為大家都關心。

After dinner there is a time for rest around one hour or so, after that at about 9 pm, the adults gather together again, to do some night work such as picking beans, peanuts, seeds, discussing the work for the next day and the things going on in this community. The most important part of the meeting is the communications of minds and hearts of all members. The topics are various and broad, including environmental and energy problems in the world, seed picking and conservation in agriculture, consultation for friends of Konohana Family, as well as the problems shown up in daily life.

No matter how big or small the things are, no matter it is related to the whole community or only one person, they are all of the same importance. The smallest thing reflects the flow and relationships behind, it can’t be neglected. Even the intimate relationship should be known by everyone, as they all care about it.

剛到不久的時候,每天都覺得有些累,開會的時候想睡覺得不行。由於我不懂日語,很多時候 Michiyo-chan, Tomo-chan, Yōko-chan 就會主動跑來問我需不需要翻譯,有時候我太累了沒法集中精力去聽和理解英文(我的英語也不是非常好),就說不需要了。有次跟 Michiyo-chan 聊起,我說如果我有精力的話就會找你們翻譯。那時她說了一句話讓我很觸動,她說:“Yes, please do so. Because you are only here for a short period, every moment is precious for you to experience and learn something.”

觸動我的是她這樣無私的付出,細緻到每個細節的態度。其實她每天要操心的事情很多,到了晚上也很累了,但是為了更多的人能了解 怎樣更好的生活,她希望我從每個時刻中盡量多的感悟到一些東西。她還借給了我 Katakamuna 的筆記,一條條很詳細的幫我解讀。在這個過程中我們聊了很多關於 spirit,energy 的話題,那真是段愉快的時光。

When I have just arrived in Konohana, I felt tired every day, I was so sleepy at the night meeting. As I don’t understand Japanese, Michiyo-chan, Tomo-chan, Yōko-chan often came to ask me if I needed translation. Sometimes I was too tired to focus on the listening and digesting of English ( I’m not very good at English), I said thanks I didn’t need the translation. Once I talked with Michiyo-chan about this, I said I would ask you for translation if I had enough energy. At that time she said something that touched me, she said, “Yes, please do so. Because you are only here for a short period, every moment is precious for you to experience and learn something.”

What touched me is her selfless devotion in such a detailed degree. Actually she had a lot of things to take care of everyday, and must be tired in the night. But in order to let more people to know how to live in a better way, she wished that I could sense as much as possible from every moment. She also lent me her notes of Katakamuna, explained to me one by one. During that time we talked about many things on spirit, energy, that was such a happy time.

剛到木之花的時候我挺想要時間自己一個人呆著,自我整理和沈淀。常在想,怎麼會有那麼多事情要每天開會說呢,兩天一次不可以 嗎。 。 。大家都早些回去睡覺吧。為這個我去問了Isadon,他告訴我如果在某個狀態,你是不會覺得累的。當時我”腦袋裡”明白了,但是“心”裡沒有明白。

In the first a few days during my stay in Konohana Family, I always want to have some private time for self adjustment and precipitation. I was wondering why there were so many things to discuss everyday, how about have a meeting every other day…… Everyone may go back to have an early sleep. I asked Isadon for the reason, he told me that I would not feel tired if I reached to a certain states. At that time I understood it by “thinking” , while not by “heart”.

那之後,我到木之花大概一個半月時,我常在吃完飯回到房間休息時跟蓮味說,啊今晚我不去開會了我好累我要睡覺。然而到了9點左 右我又自己跑下去了。 。 。我想知道大家在聊些什麼,但沒有足夠的精力去接收和消化很多的信息。我沒找 Michiyo-chan 她們翻譯,大部分時候就是坐在那裡撿豆子,剝花生,選芝麻等等,看看大屏幕上的文字,挑選出關鍵詞組合起來,大概知道在說些什麼。有時大家的表情比較嚴 肅,我就在第二天問問昨晚到底說了什麼事情。後來大概又過了半個月左右,我發現自己漸漸的不那麼覺得累了,有時會主動在晚上開會的時候找她們翻譯。

After that, one months had passed, I usually said to Hasumi-chan when I went back to the bedroom after dinner to have some rest, “ Ah, I don’t want to go meeting today as I am too tired, I want to sleep.” Then at around 9 pm I went downstairs to the dining hall for meeting automatically……

I wanted to know what people were talking about,  but I didn’t have enough energy to receive and digest many informations in English. I didn’t ask  Michiyo-chan or others for translation, just sitting there picking beans,  sesame, or scaling peanuts, etc. Looking at the screen I picked out the key words and got a rough idea of what’s going on. Sometimes everyone looked very serious, I would ask someone the next day to tell me what happened last night. Then another half month had passed, gradually I found that I was not as tired as before, sometimes I felt I had the energy to listen and digest, I asked for English translation at the night meeting.

後來我回憶了那幾個月發生的一些事情,在想,自己是怎麼慢慢的不那麼覺得累了的呢?想起來的都是些很小的事。每天早上 Nakanon 開車帶我們去 Warehouse, 只要是有音樂播放器的車上他都會放上音樂,早晨的陽光和音樂一起緩緩流淌起來,新的一天就這樣開始了。我時常跟 Kyōko-chan 一起幹活,她每次安排事情的時候都會說,我們一起。一起種花生,一起做泥土,一起給花草遮蔭,這讓我感覺到連繫,感覺到互相支持。

Eri-chan 每天很快的吃完晚飯,就去廚房洗碗。有次我看到她輕輕的拉起洗碗機的蓋子,一連串的動作自然流暢。我喜歡她這個時候所帶出來的這種流暢的能量狀態,然後我 也跑過去了跟她一起洗碗。雖然沒有怎麼說話,可是我感覺到了很愉悅的氛圍。常一起幹活的還有 Miho-chan,她也同樣話不多,可是一起工作時候的氛圍很好。我們一起采了薄荷葉子曬茶,一起把泥土分裝在小杯子裡待用。Ryūshirō 也是話不多,說話很簡短,言簡意賅,幹活的大多時候都是實實在在的埋頭做事情。還有 Toshichan 常常在下午幫田隊乾一些活,我跟她一起拔洋蔥,感覺她很有勁。她說她喜歡下田乾活,我也喜歡,我喜歡跟植物們一起。

I recalled what had happened in that few months, trying to figure out how I gradually became less tired. What I think of are almost some small things. Every morning  Nakanon drove us to the warehouse, he would always turn on the music if the car has the music player. The melody started flowing with the morning sunshine, and a new day started. I often worked with Kyōko-chan, she would always say let’s do it together when assigning the work to me. We planted peanuts together, prepared the soil together, and made a shelter for the flowers together, all these made me felt connected, supported by each other.

Eri-chan always finished dinner very early, then went to the kitchen to help with dish washing. One day I saw her pulling up the lid of the washing machine, in a very smooth flow of movements. I like the energy she carried when doing this, and I went to join her with the dish washing. Although we didn’t talk much, I felt delighted atmosphere together.

I also often worked with Miho-chan, who didn’t talk much either, but we had very good time when working together. We picked the mint leaves to dry them for tea, divided the soil into small bottles for later use. Ryūshirō also didn’t talk a lot, he usually spoke in a very brief way, and most of the time he was doing the work silently on the level. And Toshichan, who often helped the field team in the afternoon, once we worked together to harvest onions, she showed a lot of strength when pulling out the onions. She said she liked working in the fields, me too, I like staying with plants.

我時常在洗完澡回 Himawali 的路上看到 Hiromi-chan 幹活到那時候才收工回來,也知道了她喜歡吃香蕉,她的膝蓋有未癒的傷痛。有次回 Himawali 時車上滿載了,需要有一個人躺在車子後面的甲板上,她特意走了一條平時不會走的路,那條路上有茂密的竹林,躺在甲板上的人可以欣賞到。Deko-chan 負責做麵包,我們都很喜歡吃麵包。有次我在廚房看到了做麵包的書,她就問我喜歡吃什麼樣的。後來在幫我做的告別餐裡,她特意在麵包娃娃的鼻子裡面都加了紅 豆沙。收穫隊的 Mitchi 老是工作到很晚,她能記錄和安排好很多的瑣事,每次我問她該做什麼的時候她都很快的回應我,帶著燦爛的笑容。有次她太累了生病了,第二天看到她的時候我張 開手臂擁抱了她,才發覺她比我想像中瘦多了。Aya-chan 有次帶我去大富士送菜,回來換雨衣的時候我不小心扯斷了脖子上串了一顆珠子的鍊子,第二天她就找了一根自己的給我,只是可惜珍珠的孔太小了沒法串進去。

On the way back to Himawali after shower, I usually saw Hiromi-chan just came back from work till then, I also got to know that she had unhealed wounds in her knees. Once, when back to Himawali the car was full loaded with people, one person need to lay down on the back of the car. She took another way not usually use, on that way there were dense bamboo groves which could be viewed and enjoyed by the one lying on the back of the car.

Deko-chan is in charge of making bread every day, we all love bread. Once I saw a bread making book in the kitchen, she asked me what kind of bread I liked most. Before I leave she made a smiling kid’s face bread for my last dinner at Konohana, she put red bean paste inside the nose of the kid specially for me.

Mitchi in the harvest team always works late at night, she can remember and arrange a lot of miscellaneous things. Every time when I asked her what to do next, she always replied quickly with a big smile. Once she got sick, the next day when I saw her I gave her a hug, not until then I found that she was much thinner than I had thought before.

Aya-chan once took me to deliver vegetables to the Big Fuji, after we came back we changed the rain coat, I accidentally broke the necklace with a pearl on it. The second day she found a necklace of hers and gave it to me, just a pity that the hole in the pearl is too small for it.

每天早上 Hitomi-chan, Miho-san, 和 Marinē-chan 開車送孩子們去上學,路過 Warehouse 的時候會停下來,在工作中的大人們就會去跟孩子們打招呼,跟他們聊幾句後揮手目送他們去學校。Hitomi-chan 有次給我穿了浴衣(Yukata),那是我第一次穿日本的傳統服裝,非常感謝她,給我留下了難忘的美好回憶。參加瑪雅祭典的時候我的脖子曬傷 了,Yūko-chan 幫我找了蘆薈來擦塗,Katoken 告訴我有 kubi towel 可以幫忙把脖子保護起來。Matchan 在我到木之花之前幫我準備簽證資料,很費了一番功夫。去富士登山的那天早上天空特別的清朗,富士山的剪影清澈明晰,旁邊有顆很亮的星星。他告訴我說那是金 星,非常幸運看到了它。Chinappi 很喜歡唱歌,她在爬山的時候帶著我一起唱 Katakamuna 的歌,一遍遍的唱給自然聽。

Every morning Hitomi-chan, Miho-san, and Marinē-chandrive the kids to school or kindergarten, when passing by the warehouse they will always stop by, the adults who are working then will come out to say greetings to the kids, talk for a few words and wave them to school.

Hitomi-chan once dressed me with Yukata, that was my first time wearing a traditional Japanese clothes, thanks very much to her and I had an unforgettable pleasant memory. I had my neck burnt by the sunshine at the Maya new year’s ceremony, Yūko-chan picked the aloe leaves for me to daub on the neck for curing, Katoken told me the kubi towel could help to protect the neck from sun burnt.

Matchan did a lot of help for me when preparing the visa before I came to Japan. In the morning on the day of mountain Fuji climbing, the mountain was very clear to see with a bright star shining besides. He told me that was the Venus, it was very lucky to see it.

Chinappi likes singing very much, she asked me to sing the song of Katakamuna together with her during the climbing. We sang it over and over again, to the mountain and creatures living there.

富士山下的75天

富士登山時候一起走在路上 / Walking together when climbing up Mt. Fuji

圖片來自 木之花家族 / Picture from Konohana Family

我覺得木之花的成員們每天都工作得很辛苦,挺想給大家做點好吃的,有時候我找了中餐的做法寫下來,Hasumi-chan 就一一幫我翻譯成日語給 Non-chan 和 Yumi-chan 她們看。我有喜歡吃的日式食物,在離開前的幾天,她們就讓我到廚房去學習怎麼做。Yasuedon 跟我聊起她最開始是怎麼加入木之花的,她說在老房子裡面已經住了十多年了,有很多很多的回憶。Michiyo-chan 曾經在介紹木之花的時候帶我參觀過老房子,那時候我感覺到那裡很親切。後來有次瑪雅祭典結束後需要一部分人在老房子吃飯,我就舉手報名了,因為我想在那裡 吃一頓飯。

那天是 Miho-san 準備的午餐,我幫忙切了西紅柿。跟在 Himawali 吃飯不一樣的是,大家是坐在榻榻米上,圍著桌子一起吃,在一個盤子裡夾菜,讓我回憶起了小時候一家人一起圍坐吃飯的時候。飯廳不大,榻榻米上有曾經的修 補,周圍的牆上掛著以前每次爬富士山時的照片,一些畫作,還有已經去世的兩位老人的照片。仔細感覺的話,木質的地板,門框,窗紙上,處處都有二十年的時間 中人們留下的痕跡,有一種溫馨的味道。

I wanted to make some delicious food for everyone in Konohana Family as I saw them  worked so hard. Sometimes I found and wrote down some recipes of Chinese food, Hasumi-chan would translate them into Japanese one by one to show them to Non-chan and Yumi-chan who work in the kitchen. They also asked me to work in the kitchen to learn how to make my favourite Japanese food before my leaving.

Yasuedon told me how she joined Konohana Family at the very beginning, she said she had lived in the old house for more than 10 years, there were a lot of memories there. Michiyo-chan had shown me the old house in the guided tour, it gave me a warm feeling. Later at the Maya new year ceremony, there needed some people to have lunch at the old house as there would be too many people to have lunch together at Himawali. I signed up for it, I wanted to have lunch there.

On that day Miho-san prepared the lunch and I helped with cutting tomatoes. Unlike at Himawali, in the old house people sat on the tatami together around a table, sharing the food in bowls, this made me recalled the old days when having meals together with families. The dining room is not big, there are patches on the tatami, photos hanging around on the walls, showing Mt. Fuji each time when climbing, also some drawings, photos of two members who had passed away. If feel in deep, there are traces everywhere, on the wood floor, door frames, window papers, left by people through the time of almost 20 years, carrying out a warm and cozy atmosphere.

想起來也就是這樣的小事們,真實的生活在點點滴滴,每時每刻的流動中呈現。這些我與木之花的人們一起分享的點滴時刻讓我體會到 了人與人之間,人與自然之間,是怎麼樣因為愛和關心而互相滋養。在木之花的人們就像自然中的植物一樣讓人感動,他們自身的需要很少很少,卻付出了很多很 多。在與自然環境和諧共生,盡量不給地球帶來負擔的同時,生長創造出很多美好的事物。樸實而堅定,互相照顧扶持,大家的心和心是連繫在一起的,紮根的。在 那幾個月裡面,我漸漸的融入這個有機體,就像一滴水融入了河流,跟著它一起流動。

我開始關心大家的感受和狀況,看到大家很累的時候,想說求求你了睡覺去吧。看到大家開心的表情,會感覺到溫暖愉悅。我開始在音 樂會時站到後面跟大家一起跳小雞舞,開始學著唱“在這個星球上”,沒有完全記住歌詞,也跟著大家一起合唱,一起牽手。有次跟 Atchan 聊天,她問我在木之花覺得最開心的時候是什麼,我說就是當大家一起牽手圍成一圈唱這首歌的時候。在我離開前的那晚,來自台灣的吳權文在大人會議上彈奏了這 首歌,他說在這裡學到最多的是”為別人付出的快樂“。在他彈奏的同時,大家也在下邊跟著唱了起來,這時候坐在我前面的 Miki-chan 牽起了我的手,一起邊搖邊唱。她的手伸過來的那一刻,我的心裡真真切切的感覺到了一股暖流的注入。

What I think of are all these small things, the real life unfolds itself in the flow of every drop and every moment. These moments I shared with peoples living in Konohana Family taught me how people and people, people and nature nourish each other in details. They moved me by what they are doing, like plants, receiving few but giving out a lot. They try to live in harmony with nature and not to bring the burden to the earth, in the meanwhile create many beautiful things. Simple and true, support and nourish each other, their hearts are connected and rooted together. In those months I gradually blended into this big family, like a drop into the stream, flowing with it together.

I became caring about everyone’s feelings, seeing them being tired I would like to say, please, go back to sleep. I would feel warm and pleasant to see them being very happy. I started to dance the chicken dance behind the audiences with the members at the concert, started to learn to sing “On this Planet”, although I could not remember the whole lyrics in Japanese, I joined the members to sing it together, hand in hand.

Once I talked with Atchan, she asked me what was my happiest time in Konohana Family, I told her it was just the time when people singing together hand in hand. The night before my leaving, Quan wen Wu who came to visit Konohana from Taiwan, played the song at the night meeting. He said what he had learnt most here was “the happiness of giving”. While he was playing people started to sing it together, at that time Miki-chan who sat in front of me came to hold my hand, waving while singing. I truly felt a warm flow flew into my heart at that moment.

富士山下的75天

Hasumi-chan 幫我寫下並翻譯的“在這個星球上” / Lyrics of “On this Planet” wrote and translated for me by Hasumi-chan

我想到了一行法師關於他妻子而引發的一段話:”至今她依然以某種方式存在於我的生命裡。請沉浸到你自己的生命之河中去,看看那 些已註入其中、滋養和支持著你的支流。愛一直都在。” 在畢業時,Mikiokun 在給大家的致辭中哭了,Isadon 的眼眶也紅了。那樣的場景讓人很感動。

I call to my mind a paragraph from Master Yi Xing about his wife, “ Somehow she is still with me till now. Please go deep into your life flow, look at these streams that has joined, are nourishing and supporting you, love has been and will always be there.” At the graduation concert, Mikiokun made a speech to everyone with tears in his eyes, while Isadon also got his eyes reddened. That moment was touching.

每一個人,每一株植物,每一個動物,都是一股股的流動著的支流,小的支流匯聚成大一些的支流,一層層的不停匯聚編織成宇宙之 海。如果可以不執著於一些界限,多一些接納和融合,理解和支持,一起順暢的流動,那許多的美好都會自然出現的。我記得有次和 Tomo-chan 聊天,我們聊到拍照片,那些動人的瞬間。靈感從來不是追求而來,而是當你沒有目的和執著,以純凈的心情準備好讓靈感顯現的時候,它自然而然的到來。大道至 簡,大巧若拙。大盈若沖,其用不窮。

Every person, every plant, and every animal, are all like flowing streams, small ones join together to became a larger one, layer by layer they converge and weave into the sea of universe. If we could get over the attachments to boundaries, to be more flexible, willing to accept, understand and support, flowing together with harmony, then many beautiful things will come out naturally.

I remembered once had a conversation with Tomo-chan, we talked about photographing, those touching moments. The intuition could never be sought for, it comes to you naturally when you are with no aim and obsession, prepared with a pure heart for it. The greatest truth is the simplest, the greatest art appears slow-witted. The most enrichment seems to have nothing inside, while actually it contains infinite potentials.

富士山下的75天

木之花成員們給我的臨別畢業贈言 / Graduation and fawell album given by Konohana Family members

謝謝:)

ありがとう :)

Thanks to you all : )

本文来源: http://luggage.uphero.com/blog/?p=170

作者:王帆